imafraidofhightsnocensor

I’m not gone. I am too busy camping or biking or canoeing or hiking or any other means of adventure to do anything in the realm of Tumblr. I’ll be back when the snow hits. 

MAY 23 2010 21:40

From my mother’s house to Circle Dr. Bridge - 5km. 

From the North side of Circle Dr. Bridge to North side of University bridge - 3.5km.

From the University Bridge to Circle Dr. Bridge, along the North side - 2.5km.

From Circle Dr. Bridge to my mother’s house - 5km. 

Total 16km in roughly 2 hours. 

PLUS

From the beginning of my block, plus 4 times around the ‘Way,’ with NO HANDS!!!!!

The last sixteen hours of my life, completely uncensored. If you can follow my thoughts, you win. 

Be prepared. 

0130 - 0300 MAY 17 2010

(In approximate order, as sloppily dictated onto his blackberry. Not thoroughly edited.)

ARRSEE

Butterflies. (“Butterflied… butter-flied… butter-fli-ed”)

That overwhelming feeling I couldn’t name, I think it’s comfort. Best friends. …but (and I hope I’m not being too forward or creepy) still very sexually comfortable. Like we’ve been intimate before…. I feel like I know your body, and your mind. And it’s been so long since we’ve known each other, but we do. … And I’ve missed you. I don’t even know what that means. But it’s making me cry. My brain took a few photographs of you tonight. I know your eyes, but I’m scared to look into them. I don’t know why. Guilt, maybe? Maybe I hurt you… No. I mean, I don’t know. Not guilt. Or maybe a tiny bit. But the recognition… It is very intense to make eye contact with you. Piercing. (Wow. I don’t remember writing this. I mean, I do, but it was autopilot. spooky.)

Neighborhood

I know this neighborhood. I’ve seen it breath. And i have seen it grow. not in size, but in years. houses redone* . Cells regenerate. I’ve known this block since i was born. im watching it age. (and it, me). But at a slower rate. Lke dog years. Except us humans are the dogs. Our lives are divisible to theirs (is that right? 7 dog years in one human year? is divisible the right word?). When will they peak? They remain on the same, or relatively similar appearance, for many years. As in, ground to construction to tenancy. Pre-birth, infancy, teenager (is conrtuction over that quick? As in, does “nothing to adulthood” happen in the span it takes some construction workers to clear the land and build the house? Is human growth of those years, say infancy to 20, or when you stop growing in physical height or weight (not you, Fatty’s!)? Are those years menial, compared to what we have in store? How long does it take to build a house? A month? A week? And houses last a LONG time. 50, 80, over one hundred years! Is that the timeline (as a graph)? Do we have that much growth, or information, or knowledge ahead of us? Or are we virtually static from adulthood, to death? The longevity of it is terrifying and thrilling at the same time!

But how many human years until this Block’s life has peaked? Will it die an old woman, in her favorite rocking chair. Or a middle-aged, mustache-bearing man? Or early adulthood? Early 20’s, as I am. Coincidentally? Or am I seeking (my own, man-made, fictitious) references or vantage points? 

I am on tangents like David Cross. 

(KINDOFLIKEADIARY, or ITSKINDOFLIKEADIARY)

*The word “redone” should be replaced with a word at this moment I cannot think of.

God

Get into it. 

Get inside. 

Become it in Creation. 

Learn it’s past. 

But know it. 

Remember it. 

Feel it. 

Not only in memory, but in the present. 

Avatar. 

Familiar.

Know it’s past, because it’s yours. 

Know it’s future, because it’s already happened. 

Become. 

Itself. 

For a time? Eternity? 

Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t exist.

Matter doesn’t exist. 

(should have ended at “Itself.” )

DiaryTxt

There should be a number you can text that acts as a diary. Password and all. Then you can go online and login to see your entries! “WARNING. DiaryTxt is to be treated as all SMS Text Messages are by law. This means it is not “technically” private. … What do you mean, you didn’t know phone convo’s arnt prvt? …rly?”

Windshield Wiper

hey bro, every day I see our driveway (whether I’m coming home, leaving, or looking through a window…), I get a littlelittlelittle mad at you. … you left your windshield wipers at the twelve o’clock position.  

0307

I creep sometimes. Right now for example. This is my diary of what I find worthy of remembering whilst looking through your profile pics. 

GIRL_A plays guitar? i like that one.

awe besties (over dramatized, though not sarcastic).

mm. rockin’ bod. 

yeah. i do definitely like her haircut. (i was judging her earlier when GIRL_B and GIRL_C were talkin’ about hair)

…i wish i know what you and the Red Shirt are doing to your necks in this one! 

wow, intimidating. and sexy. (running)

mm! *smile with no teeth. (in general) winter photographs are sexy. they should happen more often. (…I don’t need to defend or deny…This one is sexy too!)

please tell me this was done in “Paint” (santa hat, obviously Paint’d in [not photoshop’d!])

Is that lady gaga?

you’re touching that snowman’s chest!

oooooh, Vegas fountain! (bellagio? I wish I retained more factual memories from Vegas, instead of social memories. Id answer more questions…but have less stories! *said )

([{ALLTHESETHOUGHTSJUSTKEEPSPILLINGOUTOFME}])

i lerrrrve sun-dresses. so hot, in a sexy-cute(?) way. {Let me explain the “cute(?).” The word is said with ascending the pitch to make it sound like a question.}

mmm. i can see myself grabbing on to those hips and ….. (wow. i seem to grunt a lot.)

she looks good as a child too! (NOT like a pedophiliac kind of way, mind you) She’s always been good looking. …I wonder if I’ll have to watch out for that. Nah. I’m excited about it! Cool! Interested! GIRL_D was once the cutest girl in school, but now she’s only so-so. Well, no, she’s still really pretty, but she doesn’t have that ‘ppower’ that she used to have. (i stutter too?)

mmmhot

mmmnicebum. segway’s.no.seguay.no.[RCLK}.segues. …rly? are fun! BOY_A! (remembering a boy, only enough of a memory that just the mentioning of his name is needed. and this memory was instigated by segue [fuck, i don’t like ANY of those ways!] 

Fuck. I hit {ALT}+{~} (cool formula)-(cool formula!)

wow. the formula is wrong. we’re left with (!). HAHAHAHA. 

instead of {ALT}+{TAB}!

mmmmhotnicelegs

Fuck! Did it again!

i like your shirt. style. 

Fffuck! Okay, I’ve got to stop hitting that button combo. then I have to cycle thru ALL my stickies. And I have about 40 of ‘em! Focus. 

damnhot! wow. i am very attracted to this girl! intimidating though!

…

phhheeahehehaHA! (wow, I actually did sound like that!) I fuckin’ did it again! {ALT}+{~},{~},{~},….

…

(Yyyes! I remebered! I’m so proud I had to some back by pressing [ALT}+{TAB} again! …and now again. 

…

okay i’m bored of writing this. save. continue creeping in a more focus, timely matter. 

Shingler

Professional Shingler:

Professional Singer.

Skills: Omission of letters within own name.

Poon Singer. 

Pooger. 

ER. 

Emergency room?

…

Should have ended at “pooger”

Tangents and Hightened Vision

I have dreams that my messages and my wall posts get mixed up. Not that my messages are all that explicit or anything, 

__

Possible names for blog:

hightenedCent’s

__

This patch of hair on my neck is growing. I am twenty-two years old. My beard is mostly full. Both upper and lower lips could use some thickening. Anyway, this patch started out as five or six hairs. I just noticed them one day. I missed them shaving, and then they annoyed me for hours after I first ran my fingers over my neck to check for remaining stubble. They are on the right side of my neck, right where a collared shirt or coat would press/rub against. Fucking annoying. Okay, so like I said, two or three years ago, six hairs. Now. Twenty-two, remember. I’m going to count. And I’m typing into my blackberry as I prepare, standing in my boxer-briefs and wife beater, doing the ol’ daily examination of your bod’ before bed. Okay. Count already. It’s not going to be that bad. Maybe 17. Just go. 

And go. 

…

Twenty-seven. 

The original parch was actually about eight or nine, about about the size of my left hand’s pinky nail (and I bite that side!). 

These are exercises for when I’m high. I practice productivity by training my brain to remain on tasks in a timely matter. Now, back to my last fucking tangent, gdmt!

The patch has, what was it, twenty-seven hairs? I’m going to grade them now. 

“A, B, C.”

“A” represents a regular, pubic-like facial hair. C being “I have to use my ‘hightended vision’ to be able to see up that close and small….”

A. 1, 2, 3, 4, five, six, seven, eight…nine. .. Ten. No! Grade! I can grade better than that. Remember, three options, not two. Try again.

A. Nine. Fuck. rly?

Last time. 

A - 2

B - 9

C - 9

D - 18

1520 05/17/10

I had to see you. I had questions that had to be answered. I just don’t know who was asking them. That’s why I had to kiss you. I still don’t know the answers, but I know it was right for me to make the move. 

1526

[THISISHOWISHOULDBEREMEMBEREDTHISISWHOIAM} <—- [All gangster-like}

I kissed you the third time I saw you.

1541

Diana Aria. Aria, Diana. Di Aria. Diarrhea.